Who Comes and Never Goes (Cerpen)

       This is the same night I have ever passed before. I’m
 lonely, without a friend or a boyfriend. I just stay at home. Play with my notebook, hand phone or radio. Nothing else, and nothing special. Actually, I just need a friend. Not for doing many thing, but just for accompanying me. Just it. “Huh, it sounds grieving!” I thought.

       

This is the same night I have ever passed before. I'm lonely, without a friend or a boyfriend. I just stay at home.

       I start opening my notebook, turn it on. Waiting for a minute.

Just a moment, my notebook has been active. I turn on the winamp, use the headset, and enjoy some songs of Western. I choose Broken, the song of Amy Lee feat Seeter. It reminds me of two special persons in my life.

“Hufff. Broken… I want to yell that I’m broken…!!!”

Then I check my e-mail. Nothing. Something that I’m waiting for there is no. I check my facebook. Still same. I feel disappointed.

“Where’s my best friend?!!”,  I want to cry.

Suddenly, my phone that I put beside my notebook is ringing. There is a SMS. I read.

“Good evening… How’s everything Sof?”

That’s the message. I frown. Then I reply.

“Good evening… I’m fine. (^_^) I’m sorry; may I know who it is?”

“It’s Rafi. Rafi Anggana Satria.”

My heart suddenly gets pain after reading that message. I read again. I spell letter by letter. RAFI. My heart increase pain. Then my phone is ringing again.

“Sof, do you still remember me well? I just want to know your condition now.”

There is an old pain that I feel again. I don’t want remember it again. But, I can’t flee. I must face the reality now. Then I reply his message.

“Yes, of course. I have never tried to forget all of people that have ever existed in my life. And my life now is very well.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I hope we are still friend like long time ago.”

“I hope so. Raf, I want to know Kiran’s condition. She has never replied all of my messages nowadays. I’m worried about her condition. Please tell her that I’m still waiting for her messages.”

I wait for Rafi’s message. But he doesn’t reply my message again. Something happens. I don’t know.

       9.00 p.m.

       I turn off my notebook. I prepare for sleeping. Then I fall down my body in bed. I remember of Rafi. I remember of Kiran. They are two meaningful persons in my life. And I feel that I’m losing them now.

      I close my eyes and try to sleep. But their shadow is so strong in my marrow. I can’t stop not shedding tears. My heart is pain. Memories with them were so nice. Even those memories bring me meet them in the dream of my sleep. It’s felt so real.

“It will be a nice day.” I thought.

       As usual, I experience my activity, go to campus. I take on public transportation, my motorcycle is repaired. I sit in front of two girls of Senior High School’s student. They are friend’s couple. I look at them, and pay attention for them two. They chat each other and look cheerful. They really remind me of Kiran. I look at them same as with I look myself and Kiran long time ago, where we are always together. Those days have gone. And now, I’m yearning of her. I don’t know the reason why Kiran have never sent me messages again since one month ago. I always try to guess it, but I still get nothing.

       15 minutes later.

       I take off from public transportation in front of my campus. I walk down the street towards my class slowly. Just three minutes, I arrive in my class. Still empty. I wait in front of class. And then, anymore I must look something that reminds me of someone, Rafi. I see a couple is chatting and joking. Romantic but disgusted. That view really reminds me of memories with Rafi. He is my friend at the same time my love. An amazing moment, even though just for a moment we’re together.

My heart suddenly gets pain again. I’m yearning of Rafi. I’m feeling lapse now.

My phone is ringing. It realizes me from my fantasy.

A SMS. From Vina. I read.

“Sofi, where are you now?”

“In front of class. Where are you? Our class is still empty.”

“I’m home. I’m sorry. I have not given you information yet. Our lecturer will not come in. So, we are free today.”

I get surprise. Oh my God. I am sad. “Why am I here? It’s vain.” I’m grumbling. This is not a nice day I think.

“Never mind. Thank you. I’ll go home now.” I replied sadly.

       Then I leave the class. I feel sad, I feel disappointed. I walk down towards gate of campus. But I don’t know where I want to go. I walk with dilly-dally step. It feels vacuous.

 “Ooh I need a friend. Kiran, Rafi… I want you two. I wanna hold you two.” I talk to my self. “I want to cry… I feel alone. All by my self.”

       I want to know Kiran’s condition. I want to go to Jakarta to meet Kiran. But I’m afraid of meeting with Rafi there. I think, I can’t meet them both in a same time. I’m confused. What should I do?

I sit on the chair beside the campus gate. I bend my face. My phone rings. A number that gave me messages last night is calling. RAFI. I’m shocked. I receive that calling.

Just for a while, there isn’t voice. Silent.

“Hallo…” I spook slowly.

“Hallo… Sofi…”

That voice vibrates my heart directly. As a long time I didn’t hear this voice which make me comfortable.

“Sofi… Why do you bend your face? You look so gloomy.”

“Why do you know Raf??” I’m confused.

“I know, because I am here.” Suddenly a voice is heard beside me, a bit whisper in my ear. I turn away.

“Rafi??!!” I’m shocked. I wake up directly.

He smiles nicely. I’m still silent, without a word. All of my bodies become stiff.

“Sof…?” He looks at me.

“Emh.. Yes. Why are you here?” I try to speak, although it’s so difficult.

“I want to take you to one place. Come on!” He pulls my hand and takes me into his motorcycle.

I can’t refuse. I’m just quiet. I don’t know where he will take me to.

       20 minutes later.

       We arrive in one place where we used to meet, a place which is full of memory. For a moment, we’re just quiet.

“Why are you here Raf? Does Kiran know that you’re here?” I tried to open conversation. But he’s just silent.

“Why do you just keep silent? Is Kiran fine, Raf?”

My voice tone sounds hard. But Rafi’s still silent. He closes his eyes. I look at him. Then I remember again our memory.

“This face that always exists in my marrow. And the memories with you always exist in my heart. Forever.” I say with myself.

       And unconsciously, I remember again the moment when we’re together. Very beautiful. He is the one that can make me feel happy. I can’t find the precise words to show my feel with him. Too meaningful. I like this feeling very much, because it’s very pleased fall in love with my best friend. I look into his face in a long time. I float off in my memory with him, with all of my feeling for him.

After a while, he opens his eyes. It realizes me from my fantasy.

“Raf, answer my question! Does something happen with Kiran? You didn’t tell Kiran what happen to us last time, did you? Answer me! Don’t make me worried!” I am quite angry.

“Something happens with Kiran. And that is why I am here now.” He answered dismally.

“Tell me, what happen? Please!” I hold his arm.

“I will not tell you here. I want you know by yourself what happen to Kiran. I will take you to her.”

“So, why do you take me to this place, if you won’t tell me the truth here.”

“I just want you remember all of your feeling to me and our memory here. I don’t want you forget it, even just a little.”

He glances me deeply. Then he takes me into his motorcycle.

       A half an hour we arrive in front of a house. I know that house very well, because that house is one place where Rafi, Kiran and I used to spend our time together. That is Kiran’s house. I have never come to this house for long time. As I know that this house was empty since one year ago Karin continued her study in Jakarta.

       Rafi invites me to come in to this house. I’m still confused, but my heart starts vibrating. Then we are towards a room. We enter the room. I see a woman sit on the wheel chair. I approach her. Then she turns away.

“Kiran???”

I’m very shocked. I hug her directly. I can’t stop shedding tears, neither can she.

Feeling of longing mixed to sorrow.

       After a moment, we discharge our embrace. I look at her seriously. Rafi and I help her to sit on the chair, and then we sit beside her.

“What happen to you?” I asked slowly.

She looks different now. Her body becomes thinner and weaker. Her face is pale. She doesn’t answer my question. She just smiles. I see that she is still beautiful.

“Kiran has suffered liver cancer since several years ago. But she has never told it to anyone. She used to show that she is healthy. And I knew about her sickness one month ago, when her condition was very drop. And doctor told me that she has suffered liver cancer in stadium 4. I was very sad because she hid her pain by herself.” Rafi explained sadly.

I’m crying sob while Rafi is explaining. I feel that it’s not real.

“I’m sad. Why didn’t you tell me about your pain?” I hold Kiran’s arm strongly.

Kiran smiles again. Then she speaks smoothly. “We are same Sofi. Do you feel that you used to tell me anything in your life?”

“What do you mean?” I asked astonished.

“I know about you and Rafi, Sof. Did you think that you can hide your feeling both from me, your close friend? No Sof.”

“I have never intended to lie. I just felt that I betrayed our amity by having feeling with Rafi. And I thought that you have same feeling with me to Rafi. So, I’m willing if I give Rafi to you. And I decided to continue my study here, in Tasik, in order to avoid you two. I have never intended hiding all this from you, because I have forgotten all now.”

“Hmm, one more time you are lie. I know that you two are still in love. Rafi and I were just friend, same with you. I love Rafi same as Rafi love me, as a best friend, just it. But I let you do what you wanted to do last year. I received your heart kindness giving Rafi to me, for I couldn’t be alone and I needed a friend to accompany me passing my days with my pain.”

I gaze her deeply. She looks so weak, but she stick try to looks strong, even though she is getting pain. My heart gets pain for I see my best friend like this. I have never imagined it can happen to Kiran, a spoiled girl. Why does it not happen to me? I’m willing if I must change her painfulness.

“Don’t gaze me like that Sof? I am not as painful as what you imagine. I am strong, even stronger than you which always look obstinate though brittle.” Kiran said softly.

“Why did you not share your pain with me and Rafi, Ran?” I asked disappointed.

“I didn’t want to increase your burden, because you two were broken. I have been very thankful for you two, since you two never let me feel alone.”

Kiran’s voice is slower than before. I can’t stop crying sob, and Rafi can’t either.

“Do you two still remember about the meaning of our friendship?” I asked to them.

“Friendship is not about who knows earlier, not about who knows more and not about whom more often together. But friend is who comes and never goes.” Rafi answered directly.

“Sof, Raf, you two are lucky, because you fall in love with your best friend.”

“I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend…”

Rafi and I are singing at the same time. Kiran smiles nicely. But my heart is sad. She looks such arrest her pain.

“Sof, don’t do what you did last year! A friend is someone who always remembers his friend in his pray. And that is what always Rafi do. He always involved us two in his days. Although Rafi has never met you for one year, you are always in his heart. And I know that you are same with Rafi, Sof.”

“What did you say Kiran? Don’t talk anymore, you will be more painful.” I said.

“Keep silent Ran!” Rafi said.

Kiran speaks little by little. “No, it’s time for me to go. I want to say what I want to say. I don’t intend to leave you two, but I can’t survive again. I’m happy, because I will go between you two.”

“I’m sad, why must we meet in situation like this.” I cursed.

“I hope you two will never be apart. I love you two.” 
Karin closes his eyes with saying God’s name. She breathes her last breath. She leans on Rafi’s shoulder while she is holding my hand. Her face is so beaming. She has just gone peacefully.

I know, this is the way of God. He collects us in condition like this. My friend has gone, but I still have Rafi, my best friend and my love.

I am very sad, and Rafi is too. We have lost our best friend. But she will stay in our heart, now and forever after. Because friend is who comes and never goes.

Where were you? (Cerpen)

       I was in junior high school. At the first time I came to my new school, I felt so happy. There were many friends. Time by time we’ve known each other and having friendship.
At the moment we have finished our lessons on grade 7 th, and so we’re grade 8 that day. There’s a new student in our classroom, he was a boy. Yeah a handsome boy!!. He’s really a cool boy but not clever very much. He was good on football.

       Formerly I was a shy girl, really shy girl!. I just wanna talk with girl and no boy. But I was a clever student especially in English. I got the first ranking on first and second semester of grade 7 th in our school. I never thought about love before, it’s because I always tried to focus on the lesson very much. But now I felt that there’s something happened in my heart. There were many questions running up in my mind every time.

       Everyday I looked at him, The new student!. I respected to him, time by time I felt that I fell in love with him. I thought about him before I went to sleep and every time. When I looked and met him, I always felt that my heart beat faster than usually. Yeah right! He is my first love. I never felt like that before. But I didn’t tell anyone about it included all of my friends. I thought they wouldn’t know that I loved a new student.

       At one day, I and my friend talked seriously. She told me who boy that she loved and she asked me to do the same. We made an agreement so that do not told anyone about this, and okay! we’ll promise. Tomorrow, She was talking with other friend and revealed my love secret not intentionally. Firstly I was a bit angry but i tried to forgive her.

       I didn’t know what happen. One of his friend always told me what Mr.Boy said. I thought he loved me too. He’s asking all around about me. He asked for my phone number, hair style, username of social media and the others about me. When hearing that, I fell so glad. He sent me messages. Firstly I tried not to reply her message but at last I replied his message. After that, we’re often message each other. We talked about everything and knew more each other. Yeah I’m really happy.

       Long time have been already over with all memorable moment although without love word until one day at our classroom, when he went classroom out, he talked loudly 
“I didn’t love her”

But anyone didn’t know what means that he said. Only my close friend heard what he talked. But when he said that, i didn’t hear clearly. Then my friend told me about his saying. I fell be so shy and sad. He has given me love sign, but actually those’re only false. I hate him, i hate him very much! Arrgh!.. Fine, I tried hardly to forget him.

       Long time already taken and now I didn’t love him again. We had my life usally without different and nothing special. But I fell alright, I enjoyed this moment with all of my friends. Suddenly when we’re on grade 9 th, a lot of pupil in our classroom were in tumult because one gossip especially me. Yeah! The gossip was talked about his feeling. His friend came back to said to everyone that he loved me. Haha! I just laughed and thought that was a false again. I didn’t care it much.

       All of his doing in class always made our friends mocked me and him that we’re in love, I fell an usual. But one day, he sent messages to my close friend, he told the fact that the gossip it’s true not just like gossip. My friend told what he said to me, erm I still didn’t care it. At a moment we had a task to sing. All of us were waiting our turn. When my turn were coming, I go to forwad the class and sang a song that it was bore a meaning like my feeling now. Next! Next. And when his turn were coming, he sang a song like were expressing his feeling that he loved me. All of my friends cheered to me. Haha!.

       That day, after I went home from school, I got an message and it was proved from him. Yeah I read it and the content he said he loved me. Aww aww, I just laughed alone. So I replied his message, I refused his love request. I thought it’s worth to him, to man who hurt the girl! Where were u past? And now you’re back, what did u want?. I’m sorry couldn’t be yours. But I would remember this story forever, it’s a memorable.

Kuis Radio Sialan

Pada tanggal 25 Desember 2012, gue ngikuti kuis yang bertema memperingati tahun baru 2013 di salah satu stasiun radio di Semarang. Gue ga terlalu yakin kalau gue bakal menangin kuis itu. Tapi, pada malam tanggal 6 Januari 2013 ketika gue lagi belajar di rumah, handphone gue berdering, bertanda ada telepon masuk. Gue segera jawab telepon tersebut. Sungguh ga terduga, gue memenangkan kuis pada beberapa hari yang lalu. Salah satu penyiar di radio tersebut menyuruh gue untuk ngambil hadiah di stasiun radio tersebut.

Di pagi harinya, gue menceritakan berita bahagia gue tersebut pada salah satu sahabat gue yang namanya Fiani Rosyadan. Ketika gue lagi cerita di luar kelas pada Fifi, seorang teman gue bernama Haidy datangi gue dengan muka terheran-heran. Dia tanya ke gue, “Apa gue yang ditelpon sama salah seorang penyiar radio PramborsFM tadi malam?”. Tentu saja gue jawab, “Mmm.. Iya”. Ternyata Haidy, ga sengaja dengar obrolan gue sama seorang penyiar radio tadi malam yang di rekam secara langsung oleh stasiun radio tersebut. Gue kira teman-teman gue ga ada yang dengerin, tapi ternyata salah satu teman gue dengar.

Setelah bel sekolah berbunyi yang artinya waktunya untuk pulang, gue bergegas mengajak teman-teman gue untuk nemani gue untuk ngambil hadiah di stasiun radio Prambors. Teman-teman gue yang ikut diantaranya : Karel, Febrian, Sinta, Ega, Gelly, Habib, dan Fifi. Ketika kami sampai di stasiun radio tersebut, gue dan Fifi masuk ke stasiun radio, sedangkan sisanya hanya ingin nunggu diluar. Ketika kami berdua masuk, lalu kami lihat seorang satpam dan seorang pegawai wanita di dalam stasiun radio tersebut. Gue mengatakan pada seorang pegawai wanita tersebut kalau gue mau ngambil hadiah dari kuis yang gue menangin. Alangkah sedihnya setelah pegawai tersebut jelasin kalau stasiun radio tersebut sedang ga on-air dan cuma on-air pada hari Senin sampai Jumat. Gue baru sadar kalau hari itu adalah hari Sabtu. Gue dan Fifi pun keluar dari stasiun radio tersebut dengan sedih. Kami berdua pun lalu menceritakan pada teman-teman yang udah nunggu lama di luar. Sinta pun ngajak kami semua untuk ngurangi kesedihan kami dengan nyari warung untuk makan. Beruntung, tidak jauh dari stasiun radio tersebut ada beberapa taman yang di tengah-tengah taman ada sebuah pohon beringin besar yang di sekelilingnya banyak warung. Kami pun segera nyari tempat yang nyaman untuk makan bersama-sama. Sebelum kami pesan makanan, kami ngumpulin uang kami per orang. Setelah cukup banyak uang yang terkumpulkan, kami pun pesan beberapa macam makanan diantaranya : dua piring nasi gimbal, sepiring nasi goreng, dua piring rujak, dan semangkuk sup buah yang ada duriannya. Setelah kami habisin semua makanan yang kami pesan bersama dan makan bersama-sama, kami pun berencana untuk pulang.

Beberapa hari setelah gagal untuk ngambil hadiah, gue berencana untuk ngambilnya lagi. Gue ngajak teman-teman yang sebelumnya ikut, tetapi tidak semuanya ikut, hanya beberapa anak diantaranya : Fifi, Karel, Febrian, dan Habib. Setelah pulang sekolah kami pun segera bergegas untuk pergi ke stasiun radio PramborsFM. Kami pergi dengan bersemangat dan yakin bahwa kegagalan untuk ngambil hadiah sebelumnya tidak akan terulang lagi. Akan tetapi, nasib buruk menimpa kami lagi. Kali ini kami tidak salah milih harinya tetapi, pegawai wanita sebelumnya mengatakan bahwa jika akan ngambil hadiah harus bawa persyaratannya, yaitu Kartu Pelajar. Gue ga tahu bahwa untuk ngambil hadiahnya harus bawa persyaratan yang ditentukan karena gue ga diberi tahu oleh penyiar radio yang nelpon gue. Gue pun gagal lagi untuk ngambil hadiah kuis gue. Gue bersama teman-teman gue yang telah nemeni gue pun pulang dengan sedih untuk kedua kalinya.

Seminggu kemudian setelah gagal untuk ngambil hadiah kuis kedua kalinya, Fifi ngajak gue untuk ngambil hadiah kuis gue lagi. Gue pun sedikit bersemangat karena gue sadar kalau gue udah gagal dua kali untuk ngambil. Fifi pun ngajak Karel dan Febrian untuk nemani gue ngambil hadiah kuis. Ketika kami sampai, pegawai wanita sebelumnya pun mengatakan bahwa harus bawa Kartu Keluarga. Gue pun bergegas pulang bersama teman-teman dengan wajah sedih. Sebelum kami pulang, perut kami keroncongan (artinya = lapar). Kami ngumpulin uang yang kami punya, tetapi tidak cukup untuk beli makanan. Ketika kami sedang berjalan pulang, Febrian nunjuk ke salah satu tanaman di sebuah rumah berpagar pendek. Ia mengatakan bahwa daun tanaman tersebut bisa dimakan. Kami pun makan daun tanaman tersebut. Ketika kami sedang makan, Febrian nunjuk ke salah satu tanaman di sebelah tanaman yang kami makan. Ia mengatakan lagi bahwa daun tanaman tersebut bisa dimakan. Ketika kami sudah merasa kenyang makan daun-daun dari tanaman-tanaman yang ditunjuk Febrian, kami pun berencana untuk pulang. Ketika baru beberapa langkah dari rumah berpagar tadi, kami melihat penjual makanan keliling. Kami pun segera menghampiri dan membeli makanan. Sebagian besar dari kami membeli buah-buahan karena itulah yang paling murah, menyehatkan, dan cukup mengenyangkan. Ketika membayar, masing-masing dari kami hanya mengeluarkan uang sebesar 1500an padahal masing-masing membeli makanan yang cukup banyak. Setelah kami selesai menghabiskan makanan, kami pun pulang dengan kekenyangan.

Sesampai dirumah, beberapa saat kemudian, perut gue sangat sakit. Setelah gue menceritakan ke mama gue kalau perutku sakit, ternyata gue sakit perut karena gue makan daun-daun tanaman sembarangan yang seharusnya tidak dimakan. Uhhh.. Sebal.. Awal tahun 2013 ini, gue sudah mengalami kesialan, diantaranya : gue gagal untuk ngambil hadiah kuis dan sekarang gue menyerah, dan gue sakit perut karena makan daun dari tanaman-tanaman yang seharusnya tidak dimakan.